there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.