that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
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You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation