pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole