Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy

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  (323): i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy http://tfl.nu/zhtt
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (892)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

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  (570): don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you. http://tfl.nu/ijol
  Replies (22) Good night (3850) Bad night (867)
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  (949): View more from California

  while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving

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  (949): while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/8zv1
  Replies (20) Good night (9076) Bad night (760)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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  (734): going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season. http://tfl.nu/7bt6
  Replies (12) Good night (3442) Bad night (872)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.

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  (339): today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day. http://tfl.nu/37h9
  Replies (22) Good night (4072) Bad night (801)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.

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  (773): My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended. http://tfl.nu/c9ao
  Replies (38) Good night (1555) Bad night (3861)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems

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  (609): i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems http://tfl.nu/8tgm
  Replies (31) Good night (1732) Bad night (5042)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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  (508): Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic" http://tfl.nu/1wpy
  Replies (30) Good night (2540) Bad night (3160)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance

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  (405): Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance http://tfl.nu/6e2i
  Replies (6) Good night (1838) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just arrived at our party

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  (708): Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis (773): Just arrived at our party http://tfl.nu/7hao
  Replies (18) Good night (3909) Bad night (875)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"

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  (603): i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys" http://tfl.nu/5hh5
  Replies (5) Good night (648) Bad night (1006)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.

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  (402): I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story. http://tfl.nu/wp0p
  Replies (11) Good night (819) Bad night (1971)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  That is awesome that you did that.

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  (508): I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity (1-508): That is awesome that you did that. http://tfl.nu/1wsl
  Replies (13) Good night (1720) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You need a sexual gate keeper

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  (317): You need a sexual gate keeper http://tfl.nu/r2za
  Replies (7) Good night (856) Bad night (503)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.

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  (706): Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News. http://tfl.nu/9z5o
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (314)

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