I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
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so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
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You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me