Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(789): View more from

If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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(631): View more from New York

i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.

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(708): View more from Illinois

She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

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(515): View more from Iowa

What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.

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(989): View more from Michigan

i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.

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(904): View more from Florida

Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.

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