Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize