hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
