fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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