Soap is not a condiment
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
