I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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