i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need to sanitize my soul.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
