I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
