He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
