Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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