So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
