those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize