my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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