Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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