come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
