when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
