And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
