i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
