It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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