would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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