everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize