did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
