So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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