i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
