shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
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we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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