Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize