You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
