I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize