I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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