420 ftw
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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