sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
