Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
