Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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