Can i not drive my cunt home
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
