Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
