I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize