I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I smell like Dick and happiness
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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