Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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