You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize