Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
