just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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