but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
