Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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