Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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