Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
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