I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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