I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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