it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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