she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize