she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
