Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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