she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
