i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
