I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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