it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
