This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.