batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.