Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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