i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
