This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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